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  1. #1
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    Default People who constantly complain are harmful to your health

    People who constantly complain are harmful to your health

    Could you give up complaining for a whole month? That's the crux of this interesting piece by Jessica Hullinger over at Fast Company. Hullinger explores the reasons why humans are so predisposed to griping and why, despite these predispositions, we should all try to complain less. As for no complaining for a month, that was the goal for people enrolled in the Complaint Restraint project.


    Participants sought to go the entirety of February without so much as a moan, groan, or bellyache.
    Gabriel Suarez

    Turning Lambs into Lions Since 1995

    Suarez International USA Headquarters

  2. #2
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    I'm a little torn on this one. One little nugget I took from a Sr. NCO when I was a fresh leader was "The only time you need to worry about your troops is when they stop bitching". The one constant in the Jr. enlisted ranks is that they bitch constantly, they still do what they're supposed to, when they're supposed to with a sense of urgency, but they bitch about it. On the other hand in the civilian/corporate world I find that the complainers tend to procrastinate, drag their feet, and half ass the task they're bitching about.

    It's an odd dichotomy that in one instance it had zero effect on morale and performance and actually seemed to almost always be accompanied with humor, and the other it wrecked it and grew like a cancer.
    Greg "Hyena" Nichols
    Instagram: tacfit_az
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    IANative: Indeed, when you grab Brent (or he grabs you), it feels like liquid unobtanium wrapped in rawhide... whereas Greg is just solid muscle wrapped in hate, seasoned w/ snuff and a little lead.

    http://www.warriortalk.com/showthrea...he-Obscenities

  3. #3
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    I think it's natural for young people to bitch about stuff when they're facing shared hardships. It can be bonding and I get that.

    However, I think as you mature, you put away childish things. Habitual complaining is toxic. Like any other activity that you repeat over and over, it builds a habit. Some people are addicted to complaining. It makes a toxic work environment. It destroys friendships, it poisons marriages.

    Of course, one sometimes needs to blow off steam. Sometimes you must share your burden with a close friend or with a spouse...that is what people who love each other do - help carry your burden when you are unable to. But like so many things there must be balance. It's like a bank account...you must make frequent deposits to cover your occasional withdrawals. If you're constantly in a state of bouncing checks, you are an emotional vampire.
    Brent Yamamoto
    Suarez International Tier 1 Staff Instructor

    Ready, willing, able. Bring it.

    Instagram: karate_at_1200fps

    Upcoming classes:

    Advanced Close Range Gunfighting - Nov 2-3 Mapleton, OR

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brent Yamamoto View Post
    I think it's natural for young people to bitch about stuff when they're facing shared hardships. It can be bonding and I get that.

    However, I think as you mature, you put away childish things. Habitual complaining is toxic. Like any other activity that you repeat over and over, it builds a habit.
    This is a good point, the difference in age and environment can make it constructive or destructive. I guess I see complaining as different than habitual negativity, and as a leader, I like complaining because it informs me that there is an issue and lets me get ahead of it before it's a real issue. The habitually negative person is a cancer and can destroy a team or relationships, a cloud for every silver lining.
    Greg "Hyena" Nichols
    Instagram: tacfit_az
    Facebook: SI Instructor Greg Nichols

    #thinkinginviolence
    #tactisexual

    Always entertaining, mildly offensive
    IANative: Indeed, when you grab Brent (or he grabs you), it feels like liquid unobtanium wrapped in rawhide... whereas Greg is just solid muscle wrapped in hate, seasoned w/ snuff and a little lead.

    http://www.warriortalk.com/showthrea...he-Obscenities

  5. #5
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    Interesting read, to me it goes along with "you are what you think" and how important it is to program good habits.


    Rather than making it a habit to lose or complain, make it a habit to find a solution and win. And completely agree with Brent's view- there's a difference with joking or occasional complaining but don't make it your identity.


    Life is a lot better that way and hanging around people who agree is far more beneficial.

  6. #6
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    4. Turn Complaints Into Solutions

    This is called “positive complaining” or “effective complaining. As Wolfe says, “Don’t sit around and admire the problem.” Do something about it.
    Something that I observe quite a bit on this forum, especially when discussing politics, law changes, and local laws/restrictions, is the complaining, hand wringing, and emotional outbursts about these topics without a suggested plan to address the issue. Observe the problem, make a plan, execute that plan. Action cures fear and taking positive steps in fixing something will always improve your mindset on the challenge you initially complained about.
    Greg "Hyena" Nichols
    Instagram: tacfit_az
    Facebook: SI Instructor Greg Nichols

    #thinkinginviolence
    #tactisexual

    Always entertaining, mildly offensive
    IANative: Indeed, when you grab Brent (or he grabs you), it feels like liquid unobtanium wrapped in rawhide... whereas Greg is just solid muscle wrapped in hate, seasoned w/ snuff and a little lead.

    http://www.warriortalk.com/showthrea...he-Obscenities

  7. #7
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    Fair point Greg. We are on the same page.

    In a work environment or in any team activity, there's certainly a place for valid complaints. "X,Y and Z are broken, we need to fix that. It's been a problem for a long time, has been raised and not addressed...", etc. But there's a way to do that. It's like the difference between constructive criticism and outright negative criticism.

    A genuine attempt or plea for help addressing a problem is a positive. But habitual negativity is a cancer on any team. And all it takes is one.
    Brent Yamamoto
    Suarez International Tier 1 Staff Instructor

    Ready, willing, able. Bring it.

    Instagram: karate_at_1200fps

    Upcoming classes:

    Advanced Close Range Gunfighting - Nov 2-3 Mapleton, OR

  8. #8
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    I’m going to throw out that the worst I’ve experienced is when someone in a leadership role is the cancerous complainer. I experienced it first hand with a team leader in Afghanistan. His complaining all stemmed from his unsuccessful career that he blamed on others. He complained about those above him to those below him. It spread discontent among the platoon and likely prematurely ended what could have been successful military careers.
    "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit." -Aristotle

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by callmebubba View Post
    I’m going to throw out that the worst I’ve experienced is when someone in a leadership role is the cancerous complainer. I experienced it first hand with a team leader in Afghanistan. His complaining all stemmed from his unsuccessful career that he blamed on others. He complained about those above him to those below him. It spread discontent among the platoon and likely prematurely ended what could have been successful military careers.
    That is, in my experience, one of the worst examples of complaint. Complaints go up, not down, never in front of subordinates. period. and probably one of the reasons that his career was held up.
    Greg "Hyena" Nichols
    Instagram: tacfit_az
    Facebook: SI Instructor Greg Nichols

    #thinkinginviolence
    #tactisexual

    Always entertaining, mildly offensive
    IANative: Indeed, when you grab Brent (or he grabs you), it feels like liquid unobtanium wrapped in rawhide... whereas Greg is just solid muscle wrapped in hate, seasoned w/ snuff and a little lead.

    http://www.warriortalk.com/showthrea...he-Obscenities

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Greg Nichols View Post
    That is, in my experience, one of the worst examples of complaint. Complaints go up, not down, never in front of subordinates. period. and probably one of the reasons that his career was held up.
    ^This.

    Same thing goes for the corporate world.
    Brent Yamamoto
    Suarez International Tier 1 Staff Instructor

    Ready, willing, able. Bring it.

    Instagram: karate_at_1200fps

    Upcoming classes:

    Advanced Close Range Gunfighting - Nov 2-3 Mapleton, OR

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