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  1. #21
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    2,122
    "Skated on somethin' awhile back, and that scumbag's been doggin' me ever since."
    Warrior for the working day.

    Es una cosa muy seria. --Robert Capa

    "...I ride the range in a Ford V8...Yippy Yi Yo Ki Yay." --Johnny Mercer

    "Can I move?...I'm better when I move."

    2, 1, 14. And a wakeup.

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Posts
    7,884
    The best thread here for some time. Keep it coming, damn computer won't let me keep giving recs.

    Choirboy

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Third Coast
    Posts
    4,142
    Part 4. The nitty gritty

    This part is tips and tricks about fitting in with the dregs.

    In my whole time working UC I never got to be Sonny or Tubbs ( if not for the remake that would probably date me ;). I was always the white trash, doper, mechanic, biker, homeless type guy. Problem is that if I don’t work at it, I don’t look like that.

    So here are the ways to make you appear worn in. I remember reading a Clancy novel when I was doing this stuff, the protagonist had to look homeless and slept on the floor with out showering for a week. I though the author had a pretty good tech guy feeding him info..... but he didn’t go deep enough. Here’s the rest to give you the true verisimilitude for a lower end part.

    First , two days without a shower or deodorant and a reasonable workout ( burpees in private) with give you the correct aroma for the job. If you are a methhead add a spritzer of Colman fuel or Ether to your clothing ( not much, just a little). You wouldn’t believe the kinds of chem smell methheads that don’t even cook give off ( also crack heads to some extent) We will go into the other steps below.

    Second , buy your goodwill clothes with long sleeves and oversized. You need to hide your physique if you are fit. Thankfully I was fit but at 150-175 lbs and 6’3” I was a little easier to hide the fitness, it was passed off to the lack of eating. ( I came out of boot amp at 145 at the same height, with almost no hair and sunken eyes, metabolism made me look like a POW) but you want to hide developed arms and chest. I don’t care if it’s 99 degrees outside, long sleeves are the key, you d9nt know if you will get more clothes before winter

    Third, if you are going homeless make a travel roll, Old sleeping bag ( piss on it at least once). Some other heavier clothes if it’s summer, or another old blanket if it’s winter. Remember you are carrying everything you own with you unless you have staked a claim in a shanty town, overpass, or other place (. The topiary on the frontage road next to the on-ramp provides reasonable cover, security and point of view for a target without looking like you’re looking)

    Fourth, sores and such. When you are not showering, rub some brake dust and Vaseline, axle grease, etc on your face ( nose, chin, forehead, at least one cheek) , forearms wrists and hands. Let it sit for a couple days. You are going to end up with clogged pores inside of 12 hours, zits in a day, Big Zits on most of the places by day two. No what is your “look”? If you’re a tweeter, scratch ALL of them nice and good and wait a few hours, now you have meth face, and hands Homeless, pop them and let them run a bit , even the bad guys won’t want to look at you.

    Fifth. Teeth. All the prep in the world won’t do a bit of good if you have nice even clean white teeth . My uppers are straight through genetics, my lowers are a bit more crooked. So maybe you got braces in your youth, not to worry. Here is where coffee is your friend ( coffee is always your friend). Soft grounds , already used to make coffee, force them into the gaps in your teeth , upper and lower , front teeth to the start or the molars . This gives you a nice look of the start of rot at the roots ( good for both methmouth and homeless) and is easy to reapply as needed ( every stop and rob has a filter of fresh used grounds close by and nobody will notice the gaps if rot moves or is lost for a few hours). If you have ultra white teeth, swish cold coffee through your teeth for 30 seconds before applying the grounds. ( and make an appointment for a bleaching when the job is done).

    So those are the basics of fitting in with friends in low places . All of these rules can be applied to fitting in anywhere, I was doing a detail for a state rep and congressman’s fundraiser recently at a beach town. I wore woven leather shoes , socks with palm trees on them, a gyabera shirt and linen slacks. I fit into the crowd, was friendly and the shirt let me conceal anything I might need. Detail went off without a hitch . Quick tip there, have the bartender pour you soda and lime, and keep it in your left hand (. Keeps your draw hand not only clear, but also warm and dry for handshakes , nobody likes cold fish hands.... works for business functions too)
    Last edited by coastalcop; 10-11-2018 at 06:11 PM.
    NEVER CONFUSE GETTING LUCKY WITH GOOD TACTICS (unless you are at the bar)

    I'm not in the business of Losing

    A stab to the taint beats most of the mystical bullshit, most of the time

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