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  1. #1
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    Default BEING GREY IS SITUATIONAL

    BEING GREY IS SITUATIONAL

    Sunday, July 16, 2017



    I often hear the concept of being "the grey man". Recently I read an article on it on a friend's Facebook page. Usually at this point everyone begins nodding their heads and scanning themselves for non-grey accessories. But let me stop you...I, Gabe Suarez, am not "grey" and do not strive to live a "grey life". I can hear the gasps now and I suspect one or more readers may have grabbed their chest before the collapsed.

    I think the concept of "GREY" is relative. It is relative to situation, location, and mission. But it totally sucks for quality of life. And lest we forget, the object in life is living it well and having all manner of fun memories when you are about to go to your new assignment - at 95 years of age. The mission in life is not to live your life cringing and hiding in total fear of being singled out by a bully or targeted by thugs because you are not a grey man that blends into the background. Those guys are why we carry weapons. Lions have much more interesting lives than chameleons.

    Situation, location, and mission: When I traveled in the third world, I dressed and acted like a native. I always carried weapons regardless, but I minded my own business, remained mission-focused and kept a very low profile. I did the same when I worked surveillance details in police work. Non-descript was the order of the day because the mission was to "not be noticed". As well, if you are involved in the sort of activity that exposes you to attention from outside forces...either legitimate or illegitimate, grey precautions are advised. So the diamond merchant and the drug dealer will live similar lives.

    But unless those situations, locations, and missions describe you, why on earth do you want to live that way? That is not freedom and it sucks to live that way.

    The other extreme is not caring about anything or anyone because there are no bad people in your world. That extreme perspective is also foolish. So my points about grey being situational doesn't mean that you now become careless with your postings on social media, or use your real home address on your driver's license, and get careless with your family's personal security. But living like you are the only Yankee CIA operative in an Arab Terrorist Haven is not the idea either.

    I would not consider myself successful, nor free, nor having a life worth living if I had to be grey in all I did to get through the day.

    I like to wear nice clothes, go to nice places on vacation, drive sports cars and wear an Omega Seamaster...because I can and because I like it. In spite of all this, I suspect look like a difficult target - and I am - and perhaps I have been deselected several times because of that. But if being grey was the primary need and focus of my day, and I wasn't doing something that required it...like hunting bad men...I would consider moving to a more socially homogenous place so I didn't have to worry about such things. So enjoy your life and be any color you wish. Just do it smartly.

    Perhaps this is turning into several articles, but at the end of the day, outside the situational requirements, the desire to be grey is based on fear. I choose not to live in fear, but rather in strength and in power. When being evaluated by a predator, it is better to be seen as another predator than prey...or as camouflaged prey hoping to not be noticed in the grey foliage.

    Lions do not eat other lions...they give them a wide berth as they go look for the grey colored gazelle.
    Gabe Suarez

    Turning Lambs into Lions Since 1995

    Suarez International USA Headquarters

  2. #2
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    Aug 2014
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    And there it is.

    Last time this discussion came up I realized that I look just like what I am: an aging cop. I'm not gonna gray out and fade into background. So I'll be either deselected, or the first targeted.

    Tends to increase my awareness.
    OTOC

    Warrior for the working day.

    "One pistol is worth a thousand words."

    Es una cosa muy seria. --Robert Capa

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Papa View Post
    .... I look just like what I am: an aging cop... So I'll be either deselected, or the first targeted.....
    YEP I still carry, maybe something smaller than "issued" full size gun and four + mags; but I'm never unarmed, even when I'm (legally/technically) unarmed. Sometimes I'm in khakis and a polo, sometimes I'm in a kilt, sometimes I'm in a Tux, and yes sometimes a kilt. For me its a Rolex and I drive a Audi A8L. Now that I'm retired the only one telling me what to do is ME, with suggestions from HeadShrinkHer (that I tend to listen too, because she usually makes good sense). I go where I want; but I also, give some consideration to do I really need to go there. Sometimes I don't need to go; but end up going anyway because someone wants to go there and the while the threat may be higher than my living room, its not quite a nuclear hot zone. On those occasions I may travel heavy; but I try to be the Fuck with someone else guy.

    I like to think I'm slower to get involved; but quicker to react once I engage; but that's a slow transition since my creds say retired, I'm working on it

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gabriel Suarez View Post
    But unless those situations, locations, and missions describe you, why on earth do you want to live that way?
    I am going to tell you exactly why. These people, who fit within the same circle on a Venn diagram as the fatbodies spending thousands on NVGs and plate carriers instead of putting down the fork, are posers. They wish so badly that they were HSLD CIA operatives instead of printer repairmen that they actually live elaborate fantasies in their day-to-day life. You can spot them on forums as they call their suburban neighborhoods their 'AO'. (mall ninjas: it's not your AO, it's the set of Desperate Housewives, take a seat.)

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by JLB View Post
    I am going to tell you exactly why. These people, who fit within the same circle on a Venn diagram as the fatbodies spending thousands on NVGs and plate carriers instead of putting down the fork, are posers. They wish so badly that they were HSLD CIA operatives instead of printer repairmen that they actually live elaborate fantasies in their day-to-day life. You can spot them on forums as they call their suburban neighborhoods their 'AO'. (mall ninjas: it's not your AO, it's the set of Desperate Housewives, take a seat.)
    Let that never be said of us.
    Gabe Suarez

    Turning Lambs into Lions Since 1995

    Suarez International USA Headquarters

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by JLB View Post
    I am going to tell you exactly why. These people, who fit within the same circle on a Venn diagram as the fatbodies spending thousands on NVGs and plate carriers instead of putting down the fork, are posers. They wish so badly that they were HSLD CIA operatives instead of printer repairmen that they actually live elaborate fantasies in their day-to-day life. You can spot them on forums as they call their suburban neighborhoods their 'AO'. (mall ninjas: it's not your AO, it's the set of Desperate Housewives, take a seat.)
    Exactly....

    Learning to be the "grey man" is for these dudes who can't leave the house without their 5.11 pants, underarmour tac boots, and concealment vest. For them, the rest of us mean "Grey" as in, "how about just dressing in comfortable and age appropriate clothing that you can afford that ALSO allows you to conceal your firearm?"

    And I second putting down the fork. Follow it up with saving their money to afford some training and buying a couple kettle-bells.
    Masters in Warfare-OEF Class of 2002-2003, 2006-2007
    Majors: Offensive Terminal Ballistics and Overseas Bovine Scatology

    An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life.
    Robert Heinlein




  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
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    176
    Learning to appear as a grey man (or better, blending into your environment) is an important skill for those who need it.
    Of these people some need it all the time, some just while working and some need it just on "special occasions".

    Done right it takes a lot of effort and indeed it reduces "quality of life" not only by the conscious effort (it gets easier with experience) but also by restricting your freedom.
    I very much understand Gabe in that regard.

  8. #8
    I'm curious or maybe misunderstood: ". So my points about grey being situational doesn't mean that you now become careless with your postings on social media, or use your real home address on your driver's license, and get careless with your family's personal security." Are you implying using a fake address on your Drivers License for better personal security etc.? That raises alot of other questions.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by yankeeclipper747 View Post
    I'm curious or maybe misunderstood: ". So my points about grey being situational doesn't mean that you now become careless with your postings on social media, or use your real home address on your driver's license, and get careless with your family's personal security." Are you implying using a fake address on your Drivers License for better personal security etc.? That raises alot of other questions.
    Yeah...I am. A PO Box, business address, or mail drop. Is that a problem?
    Gabe Suarez

    Turning Lambs into Lions Since 1995

    Suarez International USA Headquarters

  10. #10
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    Sep 2009
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gabriel Suarez View Post
    Yeah...I am. A PO Box, business address, or mail drop. Is that a problem?
    Well, he has probably never had death threats or shit like that to deal with bro. This life isn't for everyone.:)

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