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  1. #21
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    1,071
    I worked at a small company 30 or 35 years ago? (I can't
    believe I made it this far) where I open carried at work,
    which was long before CCW here. The owners approved
    of it, of course. Visiting vendors and a few employees
    would raise an eyebrow when they first realized it, but
    was either accepted without comment or we would talk
    about shooting, etc.

    I worked at another company not long after that had
    a strict NPE policy with the promise termination &
    prosecution, where I would occasionally forget my
    BUG in my pocket, and only realize it sometimes later in
    the day, and a couple of times it was almost quitting time.
    If I realized in the am, I would slip back out to the parking
    lot like I had forgot something in the car and leave it there.

    It's a different world we live in today,and I am glad I don't
    have to work in the corporate scene anymore.
    "Play stupid games, win stupid prizes" Alan Temby
    "Give a man a mask and he will tell you the truth"- Oscar Wilde.

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Tx
    Posts
    335
    Quote Originally Posted by toothie View Post
    A quote from long ago and far away: "Only trust those who stand to lose as much as you when things go bad."
    ..... The best kept secrets keep themselves .....
    Many are able, few are willing .

    NV28

    RGF,PSP,ACRG x 2,CRG x 2
    Intro PS Basics,Def Knife
    HITS-7 Vehicle Gunfighting Fundamentals
    TASI,CRG-3,M4 RGF
    Red Dot Pistol in S.A. Tx.
    Suarez Pistol Gunfighting School 10/13-15/2017 Houston, Texas.

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Washington State
    Posts
    1,594
    Risking redundancy for simplicity, I go with "Concealed is Concealed" (heard not too long ago from a 59 yo warrior I trust) or maybe:

    "Concealed Is as Concealed Does" if you need another perspective.

    ETA: Advise your close protectee's/family to keep what they know to themselves for everyone's protection, especially if it comes up in casual conversation.
    Last edited by Ted Demosthenes; 09-19-2019 at 03:08 PM. Reason: added
    Ted Demosthenes
    Suarez International Staff Instructor

    2019 Classes:

    CRG-3 Advanced Gunfighting, November 2-3 2019, Mapleton, OR

    From Murphy: "Incoming has the right-of-way" (so, GOTFX!!)


  4. #24
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    476
    I know this discussion is about carrying smartly but I also apply your advice Winston when talking to those people that I have discovered are always on some kind of fishing expedition about other peoples lives.

    Fainting real interest in acquaintance`s but really out looking for news, in an effort to be the first to know, giving them something to talk about later.Or sharing something embarrassing/an indiscretion from their past,hoping that you will then trust them/feel comfortable enough to share a similar story from your own past. Not really interested in you as a person but only looking for information.

    Most of the time I can honestly answer that I don`t know.If I do know something I will make a point out of changing the subject, making it clear that I am not interested in discussing the person`s live ending the fishing expedition.

    And in general I will always circle back to general topics sport, politics and entertainment when chatting to these people, avoiding the hook.

    OSSU!
    Elfie
    HALFMAN HALFCAR

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Location
    Southeast Florida
    Posts
    1,737
    A bigger concept that covers this topic is to always ask yourself "why do I want to say X right now?" What you'll find (if you're brutally honest) is that most of the time (in casual conversation, at least) it's about ME. People say much of what they say because of how it makes THEM feel--it may attract attention to me (which makes me feel good), it may make me feel good because I'm demonstrating my superiority in some area, it may make me feel good because I think others are going to think what I tell them is cool or makes me look cool to them, I tell a joke which makes people laugh which makes me feel good, they get in a fight with somebody because of their emotions, etc.

    I've found a good universal strategy for life is to never make it about me. I think sometimes I ought to write a book titled "Get Over Yourself!" subtitle "It's Not All About You"

    Add to that the principle that others have mentioned--once it leaves your mouth (or your fingers if it's written), it can never be taken back and you will never have complete control of it again. No matter if you trust the person, it's on a private messaging app that auto-deletes, etc. you will never have complete control unless you keep it inside. Many times that's fine. But sometimes if you stop to think "what's the worst that could happen?" you'll decide there's really no good reason to take the risk once you move past the desire to say it driven by your emotions.

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Nov 2017
    Location
    Las Vegas, Nevada
    Posts
    101
    It has taken years, but I was finally able to convince my wife that you do NOT need to freely give out any information to people about yourself - even if they ask!

    Quick, short replies that do not give out any information, then silence.

    Question: "What do you do for a living?"

    My Reply "Oh, a little bit of this, a little bit of that..." then silence. Then more silence.

    Person asking invariably can't handle the silence and THEY usually move on to another topic.

    The effective use of silence is an art form that should be mastered by all warriors...

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    SW Missouri
    Posts
    500
    Quote Originally Posted by LV_MD View Post
    It has taken years, but I was finally able to convince my wife that you do NOT need to freely give out any information to people about yourself - even if they ask!

    Quick, short replies that do not give out any information, then silence.

    Question: "What do you do for a living?"

    My Reply "Oh, a little bit of this, a little bit of that..." then silence. Then more silence.

    Person asking invariably can't handle the silence and THEY usually move on to another topic.

    The effective use of silence is an art form that should be mastered by all warriors...
    I've used the silence trick many times as a deputy sheriff. Suspects can't stand silence and just keep talking.

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    2,711
    I make it a policy to *never* bring up guns at work. A couple of conservative leaning guys were discussing a co-worker's new concealed carry permit and they asked me if I had one and I straight up lied and said, "Uh-uh. It's not like we live in Detroit or anything." I carry every day and rub shoulders with the same people day in, day out so keeping a low profile is the name of the game.
    "Public employee unions are an inherently seditious construct"
    "If you see something, say something... so we can call you a racist!"
    "Zen? Meh! Who needs it? All that effort to achieve nothingness and what do you got? Bupkis!

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    476
    LV-MD

    Silences during conversations used to make me feel very uncomfortable especially with people I know and like. Wanting them to have a good time when vising my home and to somehow pay back their hospitality when visiting theirs, in both cases filling the silences with incessant talking.

    People also took advantage of this at social gatherings I feel by allowing me to continue to blab to fill the awkward silences. Continually asking me to share funny stories and jokes turning me into the entertainment-Making me do all the talking while they themselves could simply sit back and stare at me.

    It was not only exhausting but I think some people perceived this as arrogance I think, seeing it as an effort on my part to high-jack the conversation instead of it simply being a case of nerves.

    After doing some reflection I realized that my company was enough, without me needing to be a clown. That people simply enjoyed hanging out with ME and that was payment enough in return for their visit/invitation.

    And that if I am at a party and people are just sitting there staring at each other, that it is not my responsibility to ensure that everybody is having a good time.

    I trained this by reminding myself to stick with 1 good joke/story covering the topic of the conversation, allowing the other person to reciprocate with a joke/story of their own. Not only is this less exhausting but it allows the conversation to flow.

    I am still getting used to these silences especially in my home if there is no response the other person. But I am able to let them drag on, even further by taking a leisurely sip of coffee. Signalling to the other person that if does not have any further thoughts on the subject that he needs to come up with a new topic.

    Still some family members has the puzzling habit of phoning and then hardly saying a word. Only giving cryptic answers and seemingly happy once again to let me do all the talking. To counter this I continue to ask questions, forcing them to take part in the conversation. This causes them to quickly run out of things to say themselves and ends the conversation with both of us having done some talking.

    OSSU!
    Elfie
    HALFMAN HALFCAR

  10. #30
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    In a positive state of mind
    Posts
    3,649
    Periods of silence during an interrogation was an interviewing skill we learned from psychologists. It works like a charm.

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