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CaptShack
08-31-2018, 10:05 PM
Here is a great video for a thought exercise using Flowcart and coming up with a microstatement.

https://www.cnn.com/2018/08/30/us/stand-your-ground-polk-county-uber-driver/index.html

Officer, I am so glad you are here. I am very shaken by what just happened. I was driving my passenger to her requested destination. This crazy driver was following me and driving very aggressively. I had no idea why. I had to pay close attention to driving, so I could not immediately call 911. He swerved and tried to run me off the road. We both stopped and the man jumped out of his car very menacingly. He immediately started to approach my vehicle. He had something in his right hand and was pointing it at me. It looked like it might have been a weapon. I yelled are you talking to me and he replied you know I have got a pistol. You want me to fucking shoot you. I believed him and drew my weapon and stopped him from killing me and my passenger that hired me to get her to her destination safely. I was convinced he did have his pistol in his hand and was about to shoot me. His truck had me blocked in from the front. I could not put my car in reverse and drive away because he was so close and he could just shoot at us through the window before I could gain enough space to escape. My only recourse to save my and my passenger's life and shoot him and stop him.

Gabriel Suarez
09-01-2018, 09:40 AM
That is good...now...the art of communication. It includes body language and physical expression as much as words. See mine in parentheses and in red


Officer, I am so glad you are here. I am very shaken by what just happened.
..
(Do you mind if I sit down...I am a little shaken - visibly appear shaken and go sit down)

I was driving my passenger to her requested destination. This crazy driver was following me and driving very aggressively. I had no idea why. I had to pay close attention to driving, so I could not immediately call 911.

(Gesture to where this took place and add - "I think he must have thought I was somebody else, he seemed so angry...maybe he was angry at my passenger---I don't know who he is")

He swerved and tried to run me off the road.

(I was afraid that if I kept driving away he was going to ram me and cause a crash - preclusion as to why you stopped)

We both stopped and the man jumped out of his car very menacingly. He immediately started to approach my vehicle. He had something in his right hand and was pointing it at me. It looked like it might have been a weapon.

("I got out to ask him to leave me alone...that I was working and didn't want any trouble. It was then that I suddenly realized he was holding a handgun. I can't put into words the shock that he was going to kill me")

I yelled are you talking to me and he replied you know I have got a pistol. You want me to fucking shoot you. I believed him and drew my weapon and stopped him from killing me and my passenger that hired me to get her to her destination safely. I was convinced he did have his pistol in his hand and was about to shoot me.

(I realized he was going to shoot me and who knows how many other people. I was armed, thank God, and realized I had no alternative other than to shoot him. If I hadn't done that, and stopped him, I would be dead right now - take a breath and exhibit shaken behavioral)

CaptShack
09-01-2018, 11:12 AM
Gabe,

Thank you for the critique. I do like the addition of the body language, physical expressions and I especially like the the first and last bullet points.

EDELWEISS
09-01-2018, 11:31 AM
... I believed him and drew my weapon and stopped him from killing me and my passenger that hired me to get her to her destination safely. I was convinced he did have his pistol in his hand and was about to shoot me. His truck had me blocked in from the front. I could not put my car in reverse and drive away because he was so close and he could just shoot at us through the window before I could gain enough space to escape. My only recourse to save my and my passenger's life and shoot him and stop him.

I would have left out the part about "hired me to get her to her destination safely" but otherwise fine. The "get her there safely" sounds like you think you were her bodyguard--you weren't. As a cop it would make me question the rest of the statement. That little twist would have me wondering if you weren't playing a bit of a hero and could have de-escalated rather than shooting. Its all about how your position is "heard", see Gabes comments on communication to enhance the picture without taking it over the top. The best explanation sells itself.