View Full Version : What lessons did you learn from your father?
psalms23dad
06-17-2018, 07:39 AM
We grew up really poor, honeslty I didn't know it until I was was well into my adult years funny how that sort od thing works. Looking back I always remember my dad working hard, he worked jobs he didn't like for years, worked in harsh conditions, we never had "extra". We mostly had what we needed and what we lacked wasnt from a lack of his trying. He never asked for handouts, never paid someone to do a job he could do and if he didn't know how to do something he'd learn how to do.
He is and has been a man who loves my mother and from that I learned what loving a woman is supposed to look like.
From him I learned the importance of standing in the door way when protecting your family. The willingness to be violent, and living by a unwritten code and willingness to help others.
My dad has been a father, the best man in my wedding, and a friend I know I can count on when the time arises, no matter the task at hand.
I hope that many of the things I learned from my father are being threaded (albeit more refined) into my children's lives.
Pablo Thunderglock
06-17-2018, 12:15 PM
Nice words... and good lessons from your father, too
What I learn from mine was honesty above all. He never was a warrior type, he doesn´t like guns... so I do not know why I got involved in this world since my adolescence.
He turn 79 last may, and I love him very much.
Christopher Calhoun
06-17-2018, 12:45 PM
I got to spend a lot of time with my dad while I was a kid in scouts (in the early-late 90s) and then as an adult with my grandfather on my mom’s side.
Both, similarly had/have the same thought processes about things.
The number one rule always was, “don’t complain about something and if you’re about to, you better already have a solution in mind.”
I’ll be honest and say I didn’t always listen.
The second thing both taught me, never be the last one to work the hardest. Wake up and be willing to outwork everybody you know, even if you don’t have the same knowledge or skillset. Skills can be learned, work ethic isn’t as easy to learn.
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IANative
06-17-2018, 02:48 PM
If someone wrongs you, it's not always necessary to immediately retaliate. Most times, shitty people get what's coming to them.
Francisp
06-17-2018, 03:10 PM
Put 20 pct of your paycheck in your 401k.
Solothurn
06-17-2018, 03:16 PM
From my biological father, not much.
From the man who raised me, work and pay your debts.
Sharkbite
06-17-2018, 05:22 PM
To work for what you want. My Father took me shooting at age 8, and supplied me ammo ONLY that first time. I had to cut lawns to buy ammo. "No free lunch" he'd say. Also when I had a problem and would ask him about it, He'd reply, " IHW was last week, Son..." My father is of Scottish decent, and was very frugal. He made good money, but we didn't have any extravagance in our lives. He was hard but fair. He was unwavering in his beliefs. He said what He meant and definitely meant what he said. He has been married to my Mom for 56 years, so he showed me how to peacefully coexist with the opposite sex. For that he is eligible for cannonization in my book. He'd measure up to Kipling's standards. He's 81 and splits his own firewood.
IHW, of course, stood for International Helpless Week. In my childhood dilemmas always seemed to arrive a week late, somehow. :scratchchin:
golucky
06-17-2018, 06:27 PM
My father wasn't much much for words, rather the actions he committed to. A Navy Vet who continued to work in SouthEast Asia well after Vietnam was over. I'm a R&R baby with the blessings that he took responsibility for his actions. "It's not always the words, but the actions of the man as well. It's when to use, how to use in any combination to get the job done." Growing up, he wasn't around much and my views today is completely different from when I was a child on why he wasn't around. Another, "there's no fair fight, unless you're in the ring (with Mohammed Ali)". Spoken from one who was bullied for his Scottish accent by a group of school bullies almost everyday after school when he got off the school bus. He fixed it by using a rock on the leader's head while the other 2 was shocked and took off. Another was when he set fire to a San Antonio police car in front of the bowling alley for the cop who beat him up when he walked home from work one late evening. He watched the cop's facial reaction and made sure he was directly in front of him when the car was on fire. But there was no witnesses that actually saw him do it. That last one wasn't just the words, but the mindset of what one must do. I've used it many times, also on the school bully. John Wick's pencil comes to mind, but the bully lived. He said, "Next time, wait till after school." No punishment given, just the homework during school suspension. Another was, "Do you need it, or do you want it ? If you need it, get it." I learned from him and till this day about Vacation time, there is no expense. Spend on whatever makes you happy. Don't worry about the money. Live life. I loved it during Vacation on the No F%&K$ given attitude displayed by this man. As the protector, he noticed that he was being followed by a road rage idiot. He pulled over and took care of business leaving the other unconscious on the side of the freeway. Some even the same as what others have already posted. Raising a glass, RIP Dad.
chad newton
06-17-2018, 08:39 PM
One of the biggest things I learned was “hard work can get you through anything”....
WOLF220
06-17-2018, 08:46 PM
Train to be strong. Train to be fast. Train to be skilled. Don’t go looking for trouble, but if trouble finds you, end it. And stay humble, there is always someone better. Just when you’re feeling cocky thinking you’re the man, that’s when you’ll meet him. Among a plethora of other things he taught me, I always remember this.
ber950
06-18-2018, 07:16 AM
The main thing I learned from my Dad was to be a better Father. Don't get me wrong He is a good guy and he has always worked hard, but he focused on the wrong things and made it miserable to be around him when I was young. The things he was trying to teach me were not wrong, but you can't make your kids miserable when you get a chance to be together. They need to want to be around you.
apamburn
06-18-2018, 08:32 AM
Probably the biggest lesson I took from my father was self-teaching and self-sustainability.
Together we did everything on our own: car maintenance, building fences, sheds, decks, drywall, tile, plumbing, etc...
My dad was a senior software engineer at the time. He made great money. He had no need to do those things on his own. But he did - to teach me to work with my hands and to be self sustaining.
Puddle
06-19-2018, 06:03 PM
Probably a little different than most. Born and raised on a working cattle ranch.
My dad taught me there was more to seeing than just looking at something. Taught me to read the lay of the land, and what it's telling you about what's coming. How to find my way cross country day or night. How to read distance and wind in the 'Big Empty' country. That there will always be a need for fists so you best get familiar with 'em.
And whenever I got too full of myself he'd remind me that 'EVERYONE has skeletons in closets. Some just rattle more than others.'
Ryan Taylor
06-19-2018, 06:48 PM
That it sucks to suck.
Rounder
06-19-2018, 08:18 PM
Life.
cmcampbell
06-19-2018, 10:21 PM
It is your word and your integrity have them mean something, keep them true.
If you have to fight, win. Do not start it, do finish it.
If you are going to work, work.
Treat dogs well.
Randy Harris
06-20-2018, 10:44 AM
In the end you're on your own. No one is going to take care of you nor should you want them to. Be honest. Act like you have some sense about you. Be polite. Be loyal to those who deserve it. Don't start it but if it does start finish it. Be a gentleman. Be kind to people. Be respectful of ladies. Be generous. Help those who need it but don't let them take advantage of you. Take your promises (especially your wedding vows) seriously. Have fun but not at others' expense. Provide for and protect your family. Remember that times aren't always going to be good so make sure you save some for when they are not. If you are going to do something be good at it. Money doesn't grow on trees so don't spend it frivolously. Do what God tells you even if it might not make sense at the time. It is better for people to respect who you are than what you have. Be willing to fight for what you think is right.
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